wasted

I’m wasting so much time for nothing.

I need to be busy

Perhaps the reason why I’ve been feeling so lonely and sad lately is that, I over-think. I have so much time thinking that I realize how empty I am.. how much part of me is blank. I get to see how I’m kinda lost in this strange world.

And then just now, another idea popped in my mind-I need to be busy. I need to keep myself occupied so that i won’t think so much.. and if i don’t think so much, i would forget. Now I need to find something that can make be busy. Hmm. Something I like. Something that can make me experience real fun. This ain’t easy of course, but if i get to succeed on this, it could be that the thing I would get into will be able to fill in the emptiness.

 

 

sullenness

I don’t know what went up my spine, i just, i dunno.. I feel lonely. I can’t explain why because I, too can’t undertand myself.. I hope this feeling move out of my system when i wake up tomorrow. :<

I hate it when I feel so helpless. I know I don’t have the right to feel this way because many other people have heavier problems and harder life than myself. But does it even matter?

 

I’m tired of putting up my fake smiles and happy faces.

 

 I am not okay.

shisha

first of all, I don’t smoke. hahaha. I just got curious when i saw a picture of my friends taking shisha so there, i did a little research. after a couple of sites, i got all confused! some sites say shisha’s more dangerous than cigarettes whilst others say shisha’s safer and healthier even. So confusing! until i find this…

Myths and the Truths

MYTH #1: Hookah smoke is filtered through water so it filters out any harmful ingredients.
TRUTH #1: Smoking tobacco through water does not filter out cancer-causing chemicals.
Water-filtered smoke can damage the lungs and heart as much as cigarette smoke.3
MYTH #2: Inhaling hookah smoke does not burn the lungs, so it is not unhealthy.
TRUTH #2: The hookah smoke does not burn the lungs when inhaled because is cooled
through the water in the base of the hookah. Even though the smoke is cooled, it still contains
carcinogens and it is still unhealthy.1
MYTH #3: Smoking hookahs are healthier than smoking cigarettes.
TRUTH #3: Hookah smoke is just as dangerous as cigarette smoke. Hookahs generate smoke
in different ways: cigarette smoke is generated by burning tobacco, while hookah smoke is
produced by heating tobacco in a bowl using charcoal. The end product is the same—smoke,
containing carcinogens.4
MYTH #4: Smoking a hookah is not as addictive as smoking a cigarette because there is no
nicotine.
TRUTH #4: Just like regular tobacco, shisha contains nicotine. In fact, in a 60-minute hookah
session, smokers are exposed to 100 to 200 times the volume of smoke inhaled from a single
cigarette.5
MYTH #5: Herbal shisha is healthier than regular shisha.
TRUTH #5: Just like smoking herbal or “natural” cigarettes, herbal shisha exposes the smoker
to tar and carcinogens.
MYTH #6: Shisha tobacco contains fruit, so is healthier than regular tobacco.
TRUTH #6: Tobacco is tobacco, no matter how you look at it. Shisha is often soaked in
molasses or honey and mixed with fruit, but it still contains cancer-causing chemicals and
nicotine. Stick to traditional methods of getting fruit—eat an orange.

 

source: http://www.tobaccofreeu.org/pdf/Hookah.pdf

I guess i would settle and believe this myths and truths. yay! i never thought that these friends of mine would be engrossed with such thing.

pang-apat na!

1. How late did you stay up last night?
- like 1ish am. )

2. What was the first thing you
thought of this morning?
-o crap, im still sleepy. )

3. Is the person you have a crush on
older or younger than you?
-older, just for a year

4. What did you do yesterday?
- honestly speaking, nothing productive. )

5. What do you hope to do this week?
- go out with my friends.

6. Do you think you will be in a
relationship 3 months from now?
- HAHAHA. actually i’m hoping for that.. really. )

7. Do you own something that cost more
than $100?
-my parents, eh?:))

8. How’s your heart lately?
-it’s so full… of air. sheeeee

9. What will you do this morning
at 11am?
- i’m probably still sleeping. oh, i’m on my way from the dentist

10. What will you do this afternoon
at 12pm?
- lunch

11. Have you ever talked to someone
when they were high?
-yeap. hahaha

12. Have you ever cried while taking a
shower?
- emo! hahaha. no, not yet.

13. What were you doing at 12 midnight?
- i was talking with my bestfriend’s ex.

14. What’s a sure way to catch your
attention?
- poke me. haha

15. Have you ever, in any way, been
betrayed by someone you trusted?
- yup

16. Is there anything that you are
craving for right now?
-ice cream. chocolate. sweets! :S

17. Where did your last hug take place?
- gosh, i can’t even seem to remember. )

18. Do people ever make mistakes when
spelling or saying your
name?
- yup

19. Have you ever started a sentence
with “No offense, but…”?
- sort of. haha

20. Do you drink tea?
- iced tea

21. Did you ride in someone else’s car
today?
- nope. pub, yeah..

22. Have you made a mistake in the
past week?
- damn right. super unccountabe mistakes. stupid me!

23. What are you listening to right
now?
- trouble -coldplay

my third? haha!

This is scary but pretty accurate.
1. Which color is better red, black,
green, blue, or yellow?
*red.

2. What’s your first initial?
*…R:)

3. What month is your birthday?
*…october:)

4. Which color do you like more, black
or white
*.. black.

5. Name one of your friends
*..mich/julius.

6.pick a number 1-100
*..seven

7. would you like to fly or drive
more?
*..drive

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean
more?
*..ocean

9. Think of a wish, but don’t write it.
* (^_^)…

 

 

–Answers–

1. If you chose:
Red: You are alert and your life is
full of love.
Black : You are conservative and
aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you
are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love
kisses and affection from the ones you
love and give good advice to those who
are down.
Yellow – You are a very happy person.
2. If you’re initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and
friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy your life to
the maximum & your love life is soon
to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your
future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well
for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally
unexpected.

April-June: You will have a strong
love relationship that will last
forever.

July-Sept: You will have a great year
and will experience a major life-
changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great,
and eventually you will find your soul
mate.
4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take you on a
different direction, it will seem hard
at times but it will be the best thing
for you, and you will be glad for the
change.

White: You will have a friend who
completely confides in you and would
do anything for you, but you may not
realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6. If it is
1-50 you are a very lovable person and
you have a great life

More then 50 screw the world

7. If you chose:
Flying – You like adventure.
Driving – You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:
Lake – You are loyal to your friends,
your lover, and yourself. You are very
reserved but emotional.
Ocean – You are spontaneous and like
to please people sometimes.

9. This wish will come true only if
you repost this with the title:

EMOTION TEST, DONT CHEAT

survey from friendster :))

*.what is the happiest moment in ur
life?
+..hmm. first thing that pops in my mind -> ateneo grad ball :]

*.if u could give ur little sister
some advice what would it be?
+..i don’t have a little sister, or a sister.. however, i would have told her to keep her skin flawless X)

*.whats something the opposite sex
should know about you?
+..I’m not a player.

*.what can the opposite sex do 2 make
you cry?
+..just make me feel pain physically, that will do.

*.when u cry do u do in it public or
in private?
+..as much as possible, i try to do it privately of course. :>

*.would you die for anybody in the
world?
+..might be. i can never tell..

*.why or why not?
+..’cause that’s how it is.

*.do you think your last ex still
likes you?
+..mhen, um. I don’t think he even thinks of me. and i don’t care though X)

*.why or why not?
+..’cause past is past. )

*.are you friends with all your exes?
+..I only have one, and we communicate no more. And i don’t care. haha.

*.name the ones your friends with…..
+..mich

*.does your best friend get along with
the person you like?
+..apparently, they don’t know each other. haha

*.who was the last person 2 call you?
+..mich

*.what did u talk about?
+..her EX.

*.what time is it right now?
+..1:38 am )

*.are you lonely?
+..yes. (//.-)

*.tired?
+..as always.

*.who was the last person 2 message
you?
+..angeline

*.comment you?
+..in multiply, jason.

*.tell you your handsome?
+..haha, wth?!

No hopes then.

I thought there’s hope… but now i know there’s none. I was super hoping that I could find a way to make dad allow me to go to baguio.. but my very good mom go behind me and already told my dad that i have plans of going to baguio and all. Hell, I’ve just told her before that that Imma ask my dad about it TOMORROW. and so not today. and so I’m the one who’s gonna ask. and so she should not get in the way.

I’m super pissed off. what the hell went up to her head that made her tell it to my dad?

I’m so upset beyond words can ever tell. No body has the idea how much I wanted to go to baguio. No body knows.. and the hard part is, no body can help me.

 

I have no choice but to get over it. move on.

untitled

Okay I don’t know how to start this thing right… but okay.

Now I am more aware that this site is readily viewable by anyone, everyone in the internet, at least. Though i have never told anybody about this blog site yet(except for my bestfriend ~oh so highschool, i know~), I’m still not so sure that no body i know have seen this. Okay, I’d have to stop myself from running behind the bushes.

hahahaha

What i mean is that, I’m so dumbfounded when someone commented on one on my emo post. HAHAHA. yup.. of all the post, i know. Sometimes or most of time, I don’t want to review my previous post because they make me laugh… i mean, when i see them, i feel as though I’m a super fool of some sort. ) you know when I type things here, I don’t give much thought about it.. because i feel like this is my diary. YES, diary ~so highschool again~ hahahaha.

Now i’m not pretty sure where I’ll end. Guess I’ve already said what I’ve intended to say.. so let’s end this HERE.

 

Oh, wait.

to other fellas out there who happen to pass by my site, don’t you hesitate to give a comment. I’d take whatever you wanna say lightheartedly. haha.. so there. comment on!

i SUPER want to go to baguio. :(

i can’t decide.

here’s the thing:

I’ve been wanting to go to baguio again ever since I’ve known pauline(which is like 4 years ago) and the chance is aleady here, finally. My karatemates are planning to go to baguio on the 22th of May so we could watch the National Karate Competition.. and also to visit pau, call it an outing or trip or whatever. Point is, I do want to go with them. I don’t care what the other odds are ready to stop me.. until

I learned that my Dad’s gonna arrive from Brunei on the 23th. Yup, on the 23th of May! OMG. And duh. I don’t think I’d be able to go to baguio. Much less be allowed to go to baguio. No chance, is there? (

Why? why oh why do fate have to do this to me? Why? I don’t see reason why these things should happen on the same time..

When I asked my mom about it… she just told me “go talk to your dad. ask him if he’ll allow you to…” My gosh, so helpful huh.

Now things are getting more and more confusing. and i feel super sad because

ETO NA NGA LANG MAGPAASAYA SA’KIN,

PARANG PINAGDADAMOT PA.