wednesday

kainis yung ulan. amputik-putik ng legs at feet ko ugh~ :<

No hopes then.

I thought there’s hope… but now i know there’s none. I was super hoping that I could find a way to make dad allow me to go to baguio.. but my very good mom go behind me and already told my dad that i have plans of going to baguio and all. Hell, I’ve just told her before that that Imma ask my dad about it TOMORROW. and so not today. and so I’m the one who’s gonna ask. and so she should not get in the way.

I’m super pissed off. what the hell went up to her head that made her tell it to my dad?

I’m so upset beyond words can ever tell. No body has the idea how much I wanted to go to baguio. No body knows.. and the hard part is, no body can help me.

 

I have no choice but to get over it. move on.

yesterday

So i guess i would have to “get use” of not having posts on an everyday basis. EVEN IF I SOOO WANT THEM EVERYDAY.

Anyway, the reason why i wasn’t able to blog yesterday is our internet connection sucks!!!!! i dunno what’s the problem and my knowledge wasn’t enough to fix it. grrr. so i just went to bed and fell asleep. time: 930. yup. nine-thirty. ) ’twas so damn early. ) but i woke up ’round 11 then fell asleep again by 1am.

My gosh, i was really exhausted yesterday.. wait, let me tell you my story in a chronological order. :>

yesterday… yeap, yesterday, i went  to bed at 4am. reason? ALAM NA. then i woke up @ 8am. I feel like it was indeed, God’s will that i woke up early so i can attend training.. so there, i prepared myself. eat a little. brush my teeth. bath. commute going to school (ang init sa loob ng fx :S). training.. shemay, ma’am che was there. yup. Supposed to be, thursday=no ma’am che day.. but naah. so the training was so damn tiring. O_o afte training, took a bath again in school.

RAINING. so here, the real life struggle begins. Considering the fact that i was so clean and sweet-smelling and fresh… i walked from save more to crossed the damn over-pass, over looking the stinking swamps and mud sticking on my feet and legs. darn it!! Okay, i have an umbrella but the rain was so dripping and the raindrops are noticeably bigger and heavier than usual (or is it just that i’m not used to walking in the rain? or whatever. it still sucks).

MCDO. there i found the reason of my first struggle. Abby. She’s my friend and i love her that’s why even though she hasn’t said any word, i forgive her. LOL. so mushy. ) so when we met, we went straight to the comfort room so i can wash my feet and legs and slippers.. i was so talkative.. telling her almost everything that comes in my mind. ) i missed abby! She’s one person i can tell everything. anything. and what’s best is that she doesn’t seem to get tired of listening to my damn stories.. and some stories which were not really mine to tell but i tell her anyway. )

TAXI. Weird, most of the cabs doesn’t wanna bring us to trinoma.. it’s far daw eh. So when one cab asked us that he’ll go flat rate:P120, we said yes. stupid. (earlier, i said.. taxi tayo? sige pero libre mo? and then she said.. sure sure). when we were in the cab, abby checked her wallet only to find P140 and her precious coins in. :O STRUGGLE. I told her i only have 200(from which i have already spent for the fare and load). ay damn.. extra stuggle!

LOAD. Waiting in front of savemore, i texted abby to tell her that i’m already there.. only to find out that she’s in mcdo, not having an umbrella so she had no choice but to stay there.. when i was to text back, i realized i have no load na! So i was forced to spent P20 for my load. thanks to sulitxt 15. :>

going back…. i volunteered to pay at least half of the P120-fare but she said no.. so okay. We arrived at trinoma. safe and sound. We met her Neil and neil’s bandmate, Nico. Asked if we have eaten.. abby’s done. but me? what, I’m starving, alright? haha. ) Nico’s done and Neil’s not… Nico said we can eat at burger king. I said i haven’t eaten there before.. i dunno what’s yummy there. We can’t decide what to order so we just stepped out and went to mcdo.

MCDO (this time, in trinoma). Fortunate enough, Abby’s already eaten her lunch and also Nico so they didn’t buy. Struggle! she has no choice but to buy nothing. and i have no choice but to eat. I’m starving. I’m starving. :O While eating, Neil’s about to throw us a joke about mcdo’s catsup when nico cut him and said “oh tapos pagbukas, mayonaise lumabas.” sobrang bumenta yung joke niya samin ni abby.. as far as i know, it was his first joke for us.. the other’s i cannot remember clearly.

TIMEZONE. i was discerning hard if i had to load my card too. Gosh, thanks to abby she said that i don’t have to, out right. so i didn’t. I don’t have the money, okay? so it was a relief. But we had fun though we haven’t spent a penny in timezone. :> we played basketball, and we forced them to try the hammer king.. (er, nico’s so hard to win over. i told abby, he’s the first guy i that i know who’s hard to persuade.. especially when girls are already using their pa-cute effect. darn). So nico didn’t try.. just neil. Then we played the ones with touch screen.. the game asks us to press the pictures which are identical. I know, it was a lame game but Abby and I had fun.. yeap, just the two of us. told yah, neil’s hard to win over and nico’s harder.. way harder. :S I also met Mara with my other old batchmates. She automatically assumed that I’m having a date. WTH? We don’t seem to be like that. really. but it was okay because i texted her an cleared things.

CINEMA. The boys want to watch a movie.. struggle!! but they just can’t decide which one to watch so abby and i excused ourselves and went off to the comfort room.

CR. Struggle!!! Abby’s got no enough money. And i only have enough for myself just incase.. We literally looked like freaks in the cr! ugh. Imagine the two of us counting every cent we’ve got in the cr. we had no choice alright? I tried to borrow money from mara and pat they have nothing to lend. awww. so we went out of the cr praying that we could find a way.

CINEMA (again). Abby was in the middle of telling neil the truth and the lie. ) she lied. haha. If i as in her place, i would have lied too. she kinda acted like she doesn’t wanna watch a movie so we just roam around the mall. ) struggle :O

FOOD COURT. Our or maybe just my legs and feet are already aching tired so i requested us to have a seat somewhere. Nico was like “tara, sa starbucks na lang kaya tayo..” OKAY!!! STRUGGLE!! O_o In my mind(and abby’s mind)… oh shit. money money money! Until Nico said… “sige wag na pala dun, wala kong pera. haha” whatta RELIEF! But wait, while walking, we were kinda heading to DQ! :O Thank goodness we didn’t stop by. haha. we went straight to the food court. whew. )

GAME. Abby had an idea, a great idea it was. I will not explain the game anymore… but i feel bad because the boys are not ”sport”.. told yah, they’re really hard to win over.  I hate it. We tried to improvise the game into somethign easier for them but they still don’t wanna play. BORING.

AWAY. yeap.. we walked away. At first Abby and I thought they are going behind us but they didn’t. okaaay. so we just went in kamiseta and fit some dress. OMG. I fell in love with the one i tried. :S after a while.. Neil texted abby asking us where we are. He said they are already outside the cinema and he asked us to ge there. struggle!! we had no choice but to go to them. :S

CINEMA. Nico said.. “sorry, hindi ako spontaneous“. okay. Atleast he said sorry. but still. Anyway, abby got no choice but to tell neil the truth and asked him if he could pay for her. He said okay. yehey! haha. But i can feel the shame for abby’s part ) Abby’s not used of being broke. I know that very well. ) So there, we watched the super hero movie. green jokes over loaded. hahaha. i already watched the movie online but it was still different if you watch in the big screen and if you watch it with boys around. haha. okay.

GOOD BYES. The feeling was real awkward. I don’t know what outside or maybe inside forces are holding us back. So yeah, we just said good byes. Abby and I went to the food court where her family is waiting for us. We ate halo-halo from chowking and went home.

I arrived her like 8:30ish. I can’t connect to the internet so i just gave up and went to bed.. it was like 9:30 but i didn’t care. i was so weary and drained so when i lay on the bed, i instanteneuosly fell asleep. haha. around 11, i woke up.. i was hungry but i was so lazy to jump out of the bed so i just watched tv for a while. around 1am i fell asleep again.

i told abby.. you know even if neil and his friend’s like that, it’s okay. At least you have seen each other. Think about me and yeah, he’s so far and we can’t see each other. It’s summer and we cannot go out because he’s like thousand miles away from here. hayy. I told her i envy her for that and she should be thankful about seeing him anyway. :>

by the way… i also tod her that i already miss kuya yoni. asked her if we could go out with him one time.

Protected: missing you :(

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busted.

Sorry my dear, but there’s no better way available.

I told him what i was asked to tell him. But i haven’t told him everything.. not even half of the thing. should i tell him? do i need to bother myself more? to wound his already broken heart? there’s no chance for him.. i feel sad. he’s still my friend after all. the thing here that my stomach can’t digest, is the fact that i was the one tasked to tell him it. understandable? or not. whatever. I’m so stuck in the middle and i have no choice but to stay in my place.. wait until the two boulders in my sides get tired of bumping into each other. when will this thing end? :S

I feel bad seeing them unhappy.

I can’t breathe. why do i need to get involve? so this is how it is being a good friend. I’m tired. But still i’m fighting, i’m still here, standing. carry on.

goshness

omg. i can’t believe i let yesterday pass without me posting any blog. ( Okay, whatever. Nothing so interesting had happened yesterday anyway.. just that i’ve finished NEW MOON. yea. Now i’m hunting for a person who’s willing to lend me his or her eclipse.

OMG. I’m so much disturbed. yes, more than ever. I’m at least disturbed enough that i feel sick. Why? I don’t think I can discuss it at the moment. oh damn it. I feel sick.